ARIA’S PREGNANCY: FROM THE ARCHIVES
Our zest for life has been something that we’ve shared deeply since the day we met. But we always knew that being parents would be our greatest adventure yet.
Little did we know that it would be an incredibly winding journey down a difficult road.
We became pregnant in early 2017 for the first time. It was unplanned, just how we had hoped. We loved the idea of a surprise and never focused our lives on starting a family. We decided to trust God’s timing and continue our wondrous adventure of life and marriage. What a miracle we thought. We felt so humbled and blessed that we were able to create life! We were excited, our parents were excited! We felt fear, happiness, uncertainty. We felt so crazy! Are we parents? Who would our sweet baby be?
Sadly after our first ultrasound, we were told we had a very ominous finding. A chromosomal abnormality coupled with a low fetal heart rate (about half of what a normal baby’s heart rate should be) made chances of making it through the first trimester very small.
Thirteen weeks in, just after Easter, our first pregnancy was over. It just so happened to be our 2 year wedding anniversary.
The rollercoaster of uncontainable pure happiness to immense grief made it hard to get out of bed in the morning. We didn’t feel like ourselves. We were in a fog that wouldn’t lift.
Had we known that the best was yet to be. That our sadness was temporary. That our excitement would be amplified. That our lives would become extraordinary. That we’d have a story to tell. That we could be a beacon of hope for those that are facing their mountain. That our marriage would grow immensely when we thought it couldn’t possibly get any stronger. That God’s timing was right, and we were being prepared. It would have made the dark days a little brighter. But sometimes it’s hard to see through the fog.
We decided to share our story, because it makes this pregnancy that much more special to us. The stigma of talking about “unpleasant” things would have ordinarily encouraged us to hide our grief. But sharing our pregnancy news early on helped us prepare. The outpouring of support and kindness from family and friends made it easier to face the days after this life-altering bereavement. Our marriage became so different, so strengthened in the aftermath of it all. Without having an open pregnancy, we would have suffered in silence.
We had decided again, that we’d welcome another surprise pregnancy because we didn’t want our lives to be so calculated, concentrated, and consumed around something that may not happen for us.
Let the cards fall where they may, as they say. We continued living with the zest and adventure that we had in our souls. We focused on being healthy emotionally and physically, we tried new things, went on trips, dreamed about our future – whatever that may look like, and spent the summer at Lake Norman in our RV.
Life is so fleeting and precious. We knew that before, but we felt we knew it now more now than ever.
One morning in early October, before it was even daylight outside, I (Camryn) took a pregnancy test in my half-sleep-walk-like slumber. I crawled right back into bed after waiting a few seconds to see the first line appear.
A few hours later, Michael and I woke and started to get ready for our round of golf. As I started to get ready for the day, I headed back into the bathroom, forgetting that I had taken a test. The test I had taken 3 hours earlier was sitting on the counter where I had nonchalantly tossed it. It now read “positive”. I remember looking down at what seemed like a two-line grin staring back at me. 😀
I quickly screamed for Michael to come tell me that I wasn’t delusional and that biology is a thing and we made a baby somehow, again! We embraced in tears and excitement, I swear you could hear our hearts beating out of our chests! Of course we were nervous, and held onto each other and prayed that everything would be okay. Then we took a few more tests because we literally couldn’t believe our eyes! All positive. Funny, that word isn’t it? Positive.
A few amazing ultrasounds with wiggling little hands and feet, morning sickness, maternity pants and countless baby name books later, we are SO OVERJOYED to be sharing our news with our tribe. We can only hope big sisters Roxy & Nala (our first babies) are as excited as we are, though they will have to adjust to much less attention and more self-soothing! Dog sitters welcome 😉 We are healthy, happy and ready to take on parenthood – just kidding that’s a lie, is anyone ever ready for parenthood?!
We couldn’t have gotten through this year without each and every one of you. Thank you for being a part of our story and for loving our baby already.
A special thank you to our parents who taught us to love, to be patient, and to find the courage to be brave in adversity. We love you.
We can’t freaking wait to meet our little baby Truelove. And we can’t wait for you to meet her either.
All our love,
Camryn & Michael